⚠️ Important safety warning: Make sure the printed or downloaded version of your safety plan is kept somewhere secure that the perpetrator cannot find. Do not leave it in obvious places in your home, your car, or on devices they may be able to access.
If the risk is very serious and immediate
- If you can, temporarily avoid your workplace and your children’s activities (meetings, tutoring, etc.).
- Change your routine. Go to different places for shopping, banking, the playground, etc.
- Do not go out alone, and check whether anyone is following you.
- If you need to do a banking transaction, use a branch well away from your new home, because your location may be identified from activity on the account.
- Do not post personal information or photos online (neither you nor your children, if you have any). Your location could be revealed.
- If you have to meet him, do it in a public place, near a police station, and do not go alone.
- Before getting into or out of your car, look carefully around you. If you see a suspicious person or find damage to your car (e.g. a flat tyre), do not approach until you are sure you are safe.
- When driving, keep doors and windows closed and maintain distance from other vehicles. Do not stop casually at the roadside.
- If another car is following you, drive to a safe place, ideally next to or inside a police station.
Support from services
Call helpline 1440 (free, 24/7) for information and emotional support and/or contact Social Welfare Services.
Trusted neighbours
If you trust a neighbour, ask them to call the Police if they hear shouting or disturbance at your home.
Children
Teach your children to call emergency services (112/199) for the Police if they see you are in danger, and to give their name, address, and what is happening. Also teach them when and where to hide to stay safe, and which relative, neighbour, or friend to call when they need help.
Recording incidents
Keep a diary (stored safely) with:
- date, time, and description of each incident
- witness accounts from other people, if there are any
Evidence
- If he injures you physically, go to hospital and ask for it to be officially recorded in the medical file as abuse — get a copy
- Take photographs of your injuries
- Take photographs of damage to the home
- Take screenshots of threatening messages he sends you
Documents and papers
Gather together:
- ID cards and passports (yours and your children’s)
- health booklets
- birth certificates
- bank books
- driving licence, etc.
If you only have one set of keys, get a spare key for the home and the car.
Emergency numbers
Write these down (by hand):
- Police 112/199
- Helpline 1440
- A trusted friend or family member
Get a new mobile phone with a new number and turn off location sharing.
Trusted bag or suitcase
Ask someone you trust to keep a small bag or suitcase containing:
- a few changes of clothes for you and/or your children
- essential documents
- money
- spare keys
- medicines and prescriptions for you and your children
- personal items for your children or family
Escape plan
Plan practically how you will leave quickly:
- which door or window you will use
- if you can, choose a room that can be locked from the inside
Mental preparation
Go through the plan in your mind often so you are ready if you need to act.
After leaving
- Do not go to a home the perpetrator knows about and will search for you (e.g. your parents’ home).
- Do not reveal where you are staying now. Ask people you trust to do the same.
- If you have nowhere to stay, call helpline 1440 or Social Welfare Services; there are shelters at confidential addresses. You can stay there with your children for some months until you find another option.
- Change your mobile number and be careful which calls you answer. If you fear you are being monitored through technology, change your phone and ask a specialist to check your car as well.
- If you have to phone him, use a private or public phone.
- If you have to return home for belongings, ask the Police to accompany you.
- Tell your children’s school which people are allowed to pick them up.
- Consider applying for a protective order. If one is granted, always carry a copy with you.